Why we DO NOT recommend P143!

New information recently came to light. Now that we have had a bit of time to recover from the blow of the discovered information, dear followers of our journey, I feel the need to set some things straight.

First thing is, Travis and I hate lying. In any form. We even have a 100% honesty policy with each other and especially with our kids. This includes no Santa, no Tooth Fairy, and many many other more important matters. Of course, there are times when we've had to say, "I can't answer that right now, but I will when you're older." Both our kids have now had some "when you're older" talks and they know we were telling the truth then, too. I'm not perfect, but I try really hard to be as honest as I can, as much as I can.

So with that being said, I also REALLY hate it when people give me false information and I unknowingly pass it along. For some of you friends/readers, you've been on the receiving end of that for the past few months. Please let me explain: When we looked into hosting, we chose and organization that claimed they only hosted orphans. We signed up to to host over winter break to bless an orphan with a family experience over the holidays. In public, we weren't supposed to emphasize the orphan status, but to emphasize the cultural exchange part of the orphan program. But in private, our motive was to first, help an orphan and second, see how they fit into our family for possible future adoption. The agency knew this about us and encouraged us in this thinking. They sent us photos of many children they said were orphans. When we narrowed it down to two, the reason we picked Evija is they told us she was a single adoptable orphan~ meaning no parents or siblings and available for international adoption. Yes, our desire was to help a child who had no one.

We knew from the first day we got Evija that something was wrong. Evija talked about her mom, dad, and 6 siblings from the get-go. We called immediately and asked the director of the program about it. She chided us for "arguing with the kids" and said she must be talking about foster parents and foster siblings. The program director insisted they only work with orphans, so Evija had to be one or she wouldn't be in the program. But the tone of the program director didn't sit right with us, so we formally requested information on her legal status from day 2 in the program. We continued to ask about it in every weekly report and always got the same "I don't know. We're checking" answer. **If a program doesn't know, they shouldn't SEND!! But I digress. The bad news comes in a minute.

The truth FINALLY was revealed to us within days of Evija's departure. Lo and behold, Evija was honest and the program was not. She is not an orphan and does indeed still have on going relationships/ visitations with her mother, step dad and 6 siblings. They said care rights have been terminated on her mother(much like our foster system), but that parental rights were still in tact. Evija is not adoptable one bit. She's not an orphan one bit either. Yep. We were totally DUPED. And for those of you out there who may have sympathy for this agency, let me tell you this: THERE IS NO WAY THEY DIDN'T KNOW THIS!! On her last day here, we asked one of the non-involved substitute chaperones to look at Evija's paperwork for us. ***They had to get her biological mom's permission to send her out of the country!!!!!*** THEY KNEW UP FRONT SHE WASN'T AN ORPHAN.

So they 1. lied when they recommended her as an orphan, 2. lied when they sent her to us, 3. lied on day two when we called and 4. lied in every weekly report when they said they didn't know. THEY KNEW!! If you have to get the parent's permission, then you know the child is not an orphan!!! And the paperwork was here the whole time with her passports and medical cards. It took Everita (the chaperone) less than a minute to tell us. Grrr. There I go growling again, but trust me, this is worth a growl.

Don't get me wrong: Evija was a wonderful host child and if we are talking about just the hosting part, then we had a great experience. Evija was trustworthy, helpful and kind. However, we weren't hosting just so a foreign exchange student could have a VERY EXPENSIVE VACATION. We specifically picked an orphans-only (or at least claimed to be an orphans-only) program and we were interested in helping someone who has no one. And getting a chance to see if an orphan would fit into our family for future adoption.

So my apologies to you all that I trusted some very untrustworthy people. And that I passed on untruths b/c I was lied to myself. I'm sorry you were mislead. I'm sorry I was mislead. I'm sorry my husband and children were mislead.

So once again, please pray for our family. We still have a heart to help kids who have no family. We still want to expand our family through adoption some day. We still want to keep our home open to those who need it. It's been an interesting ride over the years with providing care for various kids, for various time frames. We're not done yet, not by a long shot. Pray that God would guide us and direct us and keep us far away from dishonest agencies like Project 143.

Please, Lord, guide us in TRUTH!!!!

A Sling-Shot Diary

Well, this is the final installment of the 'Evija-in-America' chapters in our Lontz Book of Life. She departed for Latvia a week ago. Although we had a slow start, this experience mimicked what I like to call the "sling shot" effect. Most displaced kids who initially pull away from our family don't get to stay there long. They quickly fall prey and succumb to our family's showering of affections and quirkiness. Then it's like they were a sling shot stretched tight that finally was released and BAM! They are ours in a rush! And we get to enjoy them being full throttle IN our family. As a legitimate member of the Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Team Lontz. For a short time. Then they have to leave. :( This is the way it's worked with all our years in foster care and in some more informal settings where we have provided care to those who need it.

I don't mind the first part of the "sling shot" effect, for I have confidence that LOVE WINS and in most cases, we'll see breakthrough in the lives of each child we encounter. There is NOTHING that compares to the joy of witnessing their growth and healing. Nothing can replace the satisfaction of being a part of that process. But it's the last part (the leaving) that I'm weary of tolerating in our lives. I had lunch with a close friend (a full member of Team Lontz) today. He knows me well; so he knows I don't deal well with pesky things like Loss or Closure or....Subtlety. He was asking me how I felt about some recent hard Losses in our lives and I responded with this dainty gem:

"I want to strangle people who say to me: 'It's better to have Loved and Lost than never to have Loved at all'!! Even though it's true, I wish these same people would acknowledge that it's BEST to Love and Keep in a consistent healthy relationship than Love and Lose!!!! Grrr!!!"

(Yes, I actually growled.)

What can I say? I have some pretty good friends who can handle me when I'm raw, honest, and face to face. In that, I'm so incredibly blessed! Also, the oft quoted adage rings true on some level. To those children and adults that I've Loved and Lost~ even though it hurts~ I'm honored I got the chance to Love you once. (and still do.) But, we do our best to be keepers when we can. All 4 of us founding members of Team Lontz absolutely LOVE our broad and very extended family we've been given over the years. We span several states and countries now. Yes, we've gone global!

BUT we all 4 also long for the long term. I really don't know if permanent adoption is in our future, but I know it's a desire of our hearts. Not that I would trade the calling we've had thus far. We love collecting family as we go through this crazy adventure called Life. We want to expand through honorary and permanent means. There's room in our lives to do both: They don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Why? Because we don't divide our love in this family. That's not God's way. We MULTIPLY it so it overflows!!!! Many times over. Amen and amen!

Love and blessings to you this night!